Category: Etiquette

no shows are a no-no

Perhaps you’ve received an invitation to a friend’s wedding recently, or are planning to attend an upcoming graduation party. When you attend these events, do you let the host or hostess know of your plans to attend? If your plans change, do you then let him/her know you no longer plan to be there? While the setting may be different, the same etiquette applies to professional commitments and events, such as a Career Services appointment or workshop. RSVP etiquette extends beyond weddings and formal gatherings.

Take a Career Services appointment for instance. If you have committed to an appointment time and then are a “no show,” you have taken an opportunity away from another student who may have gladly scheduled that time. You also have a counselor who has blocked out time specifically for you in his or her day. Throughout the academic year, Career Services hosts workshops and panels, some of which require a response for attendance. The individual planning one of these events may want to ensure proper headcount if outside speakers will be present or if space is limited. If an RSVP was requested, it is best to notify the individual who extended the invitation that you are no longer able to attend if your plans change. The same goes for giving Career Services a call when you anticipate that you will miss your scheduled appointment.

While busy schedules can certainly distract us from fulfilling obligations that are no longer priorities, courtesy still applies. Many times, this simple gesture will allow a fellow student to take your place. It may also ensure a speaker does not present to an empty room. Even more, your professional reputation will remain solid.

Professionalism and etiquette go hand in hand. It can be easy to overlook, but a little communication can go a long way in creating a positive professional image. Next time, avoid “no show” status.  If you decide you can longer go, then say so.

Forbidden Foods

When was the last time you spilled something on your shirt? Picture the shirt. Picture the stain. What were you eating? Had it ever happened before? Same food? Different food?

Now, where were you? With your friends? With your family? In a dining hall? At a restaurant? Let’s hope it wasn’t during a job interview!

There are many opportunities to spill something during an interview—especially during a meal. So whether you’re simply accepting a cup of coffee in the office or having lunch together with the interviewer, be careful. Your behavior is part of the interview and is being observed. The interviewer wants to see how you conduct yourself in a business and social setting and, if hired, if you will be able to represent your company in a professional manner.

So, plan ahead to avoid making a poor impression. There are many resources on dining etiquette on our website and elsewhere, even including videos. Check out some of this information to test your knowledge of manners and etiquette. Do you know which silverware to use? Which glass is yours? What to do when you drop your fork? (Don’t pick it up. Ask your server for another fork.) How to eat your bread? (Don’t fold it over and make a butter sandwich.) How to cut your food? (Don’t cut it all at once after you’ve been served). What to order? (Follow the lead of the interviewer.) How much to eat? (Don’t feel like you have to finish everything on your plate, but don’t order too much.) How to order dessert? (Don’t.)

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You Don’t Have to be a Brain Surgeon for this One…

A colleague sent this video clip to me, it’s pretty funny, though you can see the punch line coming a mile away.

The kernel of truth in the silly scenario is that despite the fact “it’s not brain surgery” – or rocket science – people really do have problems connecting with others, especially in networking environments.  You might be brilliant in your studies or your field (or perhaps just a little arrogant), but it really does take practice for some people to know how to talk about themselves in a way that is engaging or even accessible to acquaintances.  Even more importantly, being able show an interest in others, and to ask good questions, will get you as far as any impressive accomplishment you have under your belt.  Networking is a skill that you will need to find a job and to stay up in your profession.  And, I will dare to say… networking can also be really helpful, fun and interesting.

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When your thumbs do the talking, take extra care

Thx, C U soon, Same 2 U, Lv and miss u, R u kidding?, LOL 🙂

Text talk. It’s such an efficient way to communicate with friends and family when we’re on the go. The list above comes from a quick scan through my recent iPhone messages from family, friends, and co-workers. If you’ve ever seen me on Locust Walk, you’ve probably seen me fiddling with my phone, writing texts, talking to my dad, and checking email.

I’ve come to realize this technology is a blessing and a curse. My smartphone makes it easy to keep up with current events and what’s going on with work when I’m not at my desk. And sending “miss u, love u” messages and photos of my three year-old to my parents, siblings, and in-laws takes much less time than calling everyone. But do I need to be so obsessive about checking email? Probably not. And an emoticon could never replace my daughter’s smile when she hears the voice of a loved one who is miles away.  But enough of my musings about my own bad habits…

At work I recently received an email that simply said “+ Jennifer”. For a moment I thought this was a weird reference to Orwell’s double-plus type Newspeak from 1984.  But after rereading the email I came to the conclusion that since Jennifer (not my colleagues real name) had been left out of the previous email  “+ Jennifer” meant ‘Jennifer, I’m sorry I didn’t include you in my previous email. Please join us at the meeting tomorrow. I look forward seeing you then.” Or something like that.

Then I thought, wow, that’s really unprofessional. And then I remembered how just a few days earlier I nearly sent a co-worker an email from my phone that read, “Thx c u tomorrow.”  But before I hit send I (thankfully) realized I was in email NOT messages so I thumbed my way back and typed out a more coherent response.

For years I have groused with colleagues about the increasing number of students who are too informal and unprofessional in their email tone, often neglecting to use capitalization or proper punctuation. I frequently remind students that even if they write informally when emailing me with questions, they should use a more professional tone and take care with their grammar when writing to professors, prospective employers, alumni, and other networking contacts.

But my near miss made me realize how easy it can be to stick with the informal texting language when we’re switching so quickly between texting, email, Tweeting, Facebooking, etc. on our smartphones. But my advice to students, and myself, remains the same. When corresponding via email in any type of professional context, take the time to write a thoughtful, well written, grammatically correct message with a professional tone. (Note, professional can still be friendly and shouldn’t be stodgy).  The recipient may or may not be a stickler for this kind of thing, but if he or she is, you might not receive the response you were hoping for, or you might not receive a response at all.